Evolving Sex

Sex has an evolutionary function.  When we raise our sexual energy up through the chakras and circulate it through our bodies,  we are using sexual energy in the way it was designed to be used.  

Sexual energy is life force energy, it is the energy of enlightenment and freedom and liberation.  Repression of sexual energy is a form of subjugation and control of the masses, naturally favoured by organised religion,  it’s a cultural legacy, held in sway by the busyness and stress of people’s lives.   Sadly, we are distanced in today’s world from the power and ecstasy of our own bodies.  Too many tensions and blockages in the body, too much busyness in the mind, and free time is such a luxury for most people.  Most of us aren’t inhabiting our bodies and experiencing the full potential of the pleasures we have access to within our own miraculous selves.  Tensions of the body block the free flow of sexual energy.  As does emotional inhibition.   If we want our sexual energy to flow, we need to let our emotions flow better too.  If we bottle up our emotions, we’re just jamming a cork in the possibility of our sexual energy flowing.  ‘Better out than in’ should be our motto, so long as we express our emotions safely and don’t project blame and anger onto other people who don’t deserve it. 


Most of us gathered blockages growing up, all the times we didn’t express our energy and our emotions.  All the things that are stuck inside, and all the ways we leak energy, all the ways we don’t love and accept ourselves, and all the ways we repress and deny ourselves.  

Sexual energy is catalyst energy.  Working to improve and expand your relationship with sex and sexual energy effects the greatest change through all areas of your life, self confidence, sex appeal, clarity, creativity, feeling whole, feeling at home wherever you are, becoming a master and creator of your own life.  You can do it all through exploring your sexual edges and harnessing the power of your sexual energy.  It is the most powerful place to do self development work as the changes ripple out to all areas of your life.  Because it is the core energy of you, and of every living thing in the universe.  It is fundamental. All energy is sexual energy.  Even if you’re repressing it, this energy is still running your life, or ruining it as the case may be.  

Sexual energy is creative energy.  It’s about fuelling our lives from this power within, instead of running on depleting adrenalin and overactive brain activity.

It’s a great cure for anxiety, depression and not feeling comfortable in your own skin.  Not upping your rate of depleting clitoral orgasms or ejaculations, I mean breathing deeply into the sensuality of yourself and really connecting fully with yourself, and letting sounds and movements flow and letting your body take you where it needs to go to express itself emotionally and sexually. Sex and sexual energy is about so much more than putting genitals together. It’s about flowing and movement, and being in contact with your own arousal in an empowering way.  The body knows.  The mind just has to get out of the way.  Free flow dancing and shaking the body energetically are two ways simple yet profound ways of getting energy moving in order to enhance your love making. 

A lot of people aren’t really in touch with their pelvis or genitals, unless its time to have sex. Then after sex they forget about them again.   But if we focus more of our attention there more often, and breathe into the ember that we can feel burning within, we start to connect better with the flame that burns within constantly, just we are too busy to feel it properly most of the time.  Or we are looking for sex and arousal in the wrong place, such as external to us.  Basically we need to unlock the power of the pelvis, and get that energy and pleasure flowing through our whole bodies, using breath, sound and movement.  In your daily life you can start by paying more attention to the pelvis, move with awareness from the pelvis when you walk, dance, rotate or shake your body, from the pelvis.  Giving voice to whatever you can feel in your body will help to shift that energy.  If you feel frustrated because you can’t feel anything, release that frustration through sound and it will soon change.  Dancing in your living room is one of the best things you can do for your own sexual expansion.  If you danced every day for 21 days you would change your relationship with your body and with sex. People need to cut loose more often. :)   Emotional release techniques such as sounding, shouting, hitting pillows and kicking your legs are also techniques that you can practice.  After the movement of emotion, there is more space within the body for pleasurable feelings to be felt.   

For men and women who don’t feel really comfortable during sex, I would suggest they try more dancing, because when you can unleash yourself on the dance floor you can unleash yourself in the bedroom, but if you can’t, you’re inhibiting yourself.  Only you can change that.  Nobody cares about what you look like when you dance except you.  The key to being a good dancer, is to be the body moving.  If you’re moving your hips and waving your arms and think you must look silly because you feel silly, simply become the moving hips and the waving arms.  Then you’re embodied, then you feel natural, then you feel comfortable, and now you’re out of your head and in your body, which is where you want to be for great sex.  So, dance!  Free yourself of inhibition.

Sexual intimacy and sexual mastery is the most important thing in our relationships.  It will make or break a love story.    A high percentage of committed couples lose the natural sexual attraction they had in the earlier days of the marriage.  It’s pretty common for women to shut down sexually.  Women become dissatisfied with clitoral orgasms.  For some women a clitoral orgasm with their partner is their only sexual release.  The release of dopamine is a temporary high followed by a low.  Women disassociate from sex and husbands wonder how they can reach their wives. 

People want to have sex lives which are expansive and growth oriented.  Strengthening the sexual polarities brings healing to loving couples. Conscious, loving, transformative touch is essential to couples who would like to stay together for a lifetime of loving, evolving and growing together. Sex is about so much more than penetration.  Sensuality is the key to a woman’s sexuality.  Couple should be exploring bliss states together, evolving onwards from chasing orgasms together.  If you’re in a monogamous relationship, there’s no one else you can explore with, so you have in a sense, responsibility for the evolution of your partner’s sexuality as much as your own.  It’s not your job nor your right to shut it down, it’s your responsibility to help nourish it.

Sex is spiritual, because the opportunity for enlightenment is inherent in it.   The sexual life force energy awakens and enlightens and illuminates and removes blockages as it travels through the Chakras up the body and through the crown chakra. This is every woman and man’s potential, yet it is unknown territory to the average couple. Instead of being something mystical and mythical, what if it was rather how sex was supposed to be?  And all this focus on peak orgasm and ejaculation were unnecessary distraction which just got in the way of true intimacy and spiritual development?

Meditation:  by Michael Parkes   www.theworldof  michaelparkes  .com/

Meditation:  by Michael Parkes www.theworldofmichaelparkes.com/

It’s not that hard.  But the truth about conscious sex, is that men have to override their basic biological urges to ejaculate, instead choose to swim dreamily in the ocean of bliss for as long as possible, while women just have to learn how to relax deeply, inviting her man deeper through her relaxation, her bliss.  Men need to stop chasing, and instead relax, giving love through the penis, and absorbing love through their hearts.  Be receptive as well as active.  Practice stillness and cultivate sensitivity. This really forces a man to confront his notions of masculinity.  Really, in order to take the conscious sexuality approach, a man is going to have to face losing his erection, and the shame he feels around that needs to be experienced and faced, to more deeply anchor his sexuality within him.  

It’s just a shift in perspective, a shift in attitude.  A shift from doing to being, from trying to get somewhere to simply relaxing into pleasure together.  When we stop chasing peak orgasms, and instead simply be in the sexual embrace, fully present, all senses awake, focusing on the subtler feelings, with gratitude and love for the other who facilitates this deep space within you, then we can enter a different world together, one that leaves both partners satisfied and keeps the desire and the curiosity alive, because making love is really an exploration of the expansive less traversed vistas and visions within yourself, deep altered states facilitated by the loving sexual arousal between you and your partner, a gift that you can only share with and through each other, thus so special and sacred because of that.  It would take hundreds of hours of meditation to get to such a place alone, but in sex, we can do it so quickly, if we cultivate such an attitude towards it.   We’re all on a learning journey, learning to be here now in our fullness.   There is so much opportunity for us to transform and develop when we understand the true nature of sex and sexual energy.