When it comes to relationships, it is the ways in which we are the same that creates closeness between us. Shared values, shared world view, shared goals, shared interests, time spent together and so on. But it is distance and difference which creates and renews desire in a long term relationship. Because a lot of couples spend a lot of time together and sleep in the same bed every night, they can end up very deeply bonded on a friendship and love level, yet find that their attraction to each other gets weaker the longer they spend together. All is not lost though, as there are some very practical things we can do to keep desire alive.
Attraction and desire between a couple is due to the strength of the opposite polarity between them. When one person takes on the role of being the masculine energy, and the other takes on the role of being the feminine energy, then magic can be the result. Masculine men are attracted to feminine women, and feminine women are attracted to masculine men, because of the strength of the polarity between them. One individual plays the strong masculine pole and one individual plays the strong feminine pole. This creates sexual polarity – an almost irresistible attraction between two people. The feminine is flowing, vulnerability, opening to love, and the masculine is stillness and structure. The feminine is being, and the masculine is doing.
Like batteries and magnets. Strong polarity is extremely orgasmic of itself. Very little has to be done besides stay with the feeling of the magnetism between you.
These energies are within all of us and are not gender specific. We should develop both aspects to be integrated mature humans. To find out which is your dominant energy, ask yourself which is more important to you - fulfilling your mission in life, or, creating and sustaining loving relationships in your life. If fulfilling your mission is more important then you have a masculine essence, and if creating relationships of love is your priority, then you have a feminine essence. If both are equally important, then you have balanced masculine and feminine energies within you. Still, for the purpose of having incredible sex, emphasising one or the other will create a lot of arousal and attraction between you and your partner, even if you are in a same sex relationship. When it comes to making love, would you rather be active and penetrate energetically, (masculine energy) or would you rather be more passive, receptive, and receive your lover (feminine energy)? Even within the one love making session we can play with the different roles and the energies of the masculine and the feminine.
Ways women can increase their feminine energy.
She: could take a bath alone after work, bring more nature and beauty into the home, create a devotional alter in your bedroom, have days or hours when you just get to potter around at your own pace, spend time with female company, breast massage daily, dance daily, honour herself and her body as a temple. Let go of the need to control things, do things that make her feel very relaxed, like yoga or massage.
Ways men can increase their masculine energy.
He: could maintain activities with his male friends, do things that challenge himself to grow, do physical activities, make sure he knows his direction in life and keep that as a priority, have goals and achieve them, take the lead and allow her to relax into her feminine, not be the decision maker with you all the time over small details. The more you take the masculine the more she can let go into the feminine.
Neither men nor women should dominate the other. Rather, each sex should make the effort to dominate their own domain. It is normal for women to want to reclaim the freedom and the rights denied to them by men, but they must try to achieve their goal by intensifying their own innate qualities, not by trying to imitate the behaviour or way of life of men. To do this would be to demonstrate a lack of understanding of the eternal truths, and the penalty would be great.
The equilibrium of life is based on polarisation, that is, on the existence of two poles between which, because they are different in nature, there can be reciprocity. If the two poles were uniform, there could be no exchange, none of that magnificent mutuality that is the source of so much joy and inspiration.
When men and women lose all sense of the life that exists in this reciprocity between the two poles, they turn to a pharmacist or a psychiatrist for a remedy, but there is no remedy for those who do not understand. The only remedy lies in understanding. When polarity disappears, it is the death of a generation. There can be no spark, no life, if the two poles, the two electrodes, are not clearly distinct.
Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov
A Bulgarian philosopher, pedagogue, mystic, and esotericist, a leading 20th-century teacher of Western Esotericism in Europe.
(1900 - 1986)